Kirby's Screwed Up Halloween
by uhnope
Summary: Oneshot. Kirby and Fumu both discover the true horror of Halloween...


_Huh. Wonder how little people will read this. _

Disclaimer: I own no Kirby.

~Kirby's Screwed Up Halloween

The pink puff tossed a perfectly white sheet, fresh from Fumu's bed, into the air and let it land fluttering and gently on his body. He smirked, as the holes he cut into it fell over his blue eyes, giving him view through the sheet. He bounced through the hallways, running into Fumu who was holding a bundle under her arm. The fabrics she carried flew into the air from the impact.

"Kirby!" she sputtered, "I just ironed that! Watch where you're going!" she snapped, gathering her scattered costume.

Yes, tonight was Halloween Night, and outside the faintest stripes of dying sunlight sparked over the horizon. The darkened sky was flecked with tiny pinpoints, the stars. The moon hung over the town like a cold white glass ball, looking delicate and precarious as it perched on the mountains in the distance. The night air, usually quiet and soft, was churned with excited voices and half-fearful, half-mischeivious screams. The sweet, perky scent of fruity candy and the lazy, pleasant aroma of chocolate laced the air. Kirby loved Halloween.

As Fumu picked up her costume and bundled it back up, she tipped her head at her friend curiously, "You're a ghost for Halloween?" she inquired.

"Yuuuuss." Kirby smirked, rocking on his heels.

"A sheet ghost." Fumu muttered, "C'mon, can't you do better?"

"I'd like to see your getup." Kirby countered, eyes darting from Fumu to her costume.

"Not only is mine creative, but it's scary as well." Fumu said, with a tint of smugness. Kirby stared at her, waiting. Hurridly, the girl sped into her bathroom and shut the door.

Well, Kirby remembered back to when Fumu had dressed up as a rock...to this day it still made no sense.

"Hi." said a voice suddenly from behind Kirby. Within seconds, Kirby's head was stuck in the ceiling.

"Hello, Meta Knight." he murmured through the ceiling pieces in his mouth. He fell back to the floor, releasing a heavy cloud of dust that turned the twosome white.

The knight brushed some of the dust off him, "You're going out tonight?" he asked.

Kirby narrowed his eyes and shot him the universal "no effin duh" look. Meta Knight shrugged.

"You're not in costume." Kirby observed, eyeing his mentor. Meta Knight blinked,

"I'm going as myself." he said simply. Suddenly the lights went off in the hallway, the only light shining from Meta Knight's eerie amber eyes. A random flash of lightning danced across his metal mask. It was pretty unearthly. The lights randomly flicked back on, and the lightning dissappeared.

"That was weird." Kirby said.

Fumu's voice screamed from behind the bathroom door, "Bun! Stop playing with hazardous electrical crap!"

"Stop poisoning my inner child!" came the whiny reply from somewhere else.

"So you're a sheet ghost." Meta Knight said, rather bordley, looking Kirby over. The pink puffball snorted in idignation,

"I'm the Flying Dutchman!" he huffed.

"That was a ship." Meta Knight pointed out helpfully. Kirby was about to wack something when Fumu burst out of the bathroom, all dressed up in god knows what. It took a few minutes before Kirby realized what she was dressed as, and groaned, dropping his face into his paws,

"Oh, Fumu no." Kirby muttered, "You've just re-scarred my retinas."

Fumu had painted her entire face pink, and undid her trademark ponytail. Her hair, also dyed pink, fell over one side of her face and kinked at the end. It was dazzled with unruly curls. Around her neck was a thick string with multi-colored cone things that clacked together as she moved. She wore a patchwork dress as well, each patch bearing a miscillanious symbol. Several fake feather wings were strapped to her back. She smiled eerily, "Creative, huh?"

"Like I said," Kirby murmured, "You've just re-scarred my retinas. It took me three weeks to get over Cupcakes..."

"That story was funny." Meta Knight mused, ignoring the strange looks Fumu and Kirby sent his way.

"It's a creative costume: Cupcakes Pinkie Pie. Don't you think?" Fumu gripped the ends of her dress, displaying it to the two males. Kirby was avoiding her gaze and Meta Knight was staring at the ceiling with great interest.

Fumu sighed, "Whatever. Let's just go."

...

"Fumu, you sick, sick person," Kirby huffed in disgust, "That Tootsie Roll had hopes and dreams."

Fumu finished chewing the last of the chocolate, and left the wrapper in her candy bucket as they walked along the sidewalk. Meta Knight seemed to be enjoying disappearing randomly and reappearing eerily to scare small children.

Fumu shrugged at Kirby, "Well, now it fufilled my hopes and dreams." Kirby snorted and reached into his bucket of rations. He frowned, and drew out something gray and...

"I got a rock." Kirby muttered,

"Rock candy?" Fumu suggested. Kirby bit into the rock, and cryed out, holding his mouth as he cursed a blue streak. He chucked the rock several feet, and it knocked Meta Knight out of the tree he had been standing in. He fell in a dumpster on wheels thingy and it rolled down the street and out of sight. Kirby glared at Fumu,

"See what you make me do?" he huffed.

...

A gigundo house lay at the end of this street. Its walls were vieled in shadow and mist, despite it being a clear night. Lightning struck from behind it.

"That's funny." Fumu murmured, "That house wasn't there yesterday."

"It was here last year." Kirby chimed in.

Ignoring him, Fumu went on, "It's like...it just popped up suddenly...almost in a sort of _paranormal _way."

"They erected this house a few hours ago." Kirby said, "It's here every year. And I haven't even lived here for all my life." He looked at Fumu, "You're so sad."

Fumu walked up to the house, "Should we go inside? I think I hear something..."

"The sound of 'durr.'" Kirby muttered.

Fumu's hand closed around the door handle, and gently pulled it open. Bun suddenly bust out, his pants stuff with candy and...it might have once been a sock...he was yelling like a madman and tackled Fumu, and started licking her face like a dog.

"Get off me!" Fumu shrieked. Kirby rolled his eyes and socked Bun in the nonexistant schnoz, making the boy fall down the stairs leading up to the house. He rolled up under the porch, still making noise.

Fumu and Kirby crept inside the house, and the door slammed behind them. Fumu fell on the door, pounding at it and yelling for help. Kirby was looking around the room, which looked like a living room.

"Hey, that's funny." Kirby mused, "A living room for _ghosts? _A _living _room for the _dead?_" he joked, joslting Fumu on the shoulder, who was curling up in fetal position,

"Oh god..." She muttered, "Please don't let my last moments on this planet be in a creepy pony costume in a dusty old mansion that Kirby won't stop making fun of." she begged the air.

"That would be cruel." Kirby said. Suddenly, the lights in the room blew out, all at once, with a simutaneous crackling sound.

Fumu shreiked, and sucked her thumb.

"Hang on," Kirby muttered, "Lemme find a candle or somthing." After he found a candle and lit it with the Force, he looked at Fumu, who was now sucking both thumbs.

And now Kirby's eyes widened in sheer terror.

Next to Fumu lay...their candy buckets...completely emptied out.

The two children screeched bloody murder.

...

The clock read 12:07AM. Most kids on the streets had returned home. Finally, Kirby had dragged Fumu home, both incredibly bummed about having their candy jacked behind their backs. It must suck for them.

_Well. It also sucks to be beaned in the face with a rock, fall into a dumpster and roll incontrollably for nine blocks. What goes around comes around._

Meta Knight smiled under his mask as he withdrew another piece of candy from the hoard.

His favorite way of scaring children.

'Cause no one can deny the horrors of no candy on Halloween.


End file.
